LIVING UNTIL DYING – a dialogue with Jesus

RAMBLING THOUGHTS BEFORE THE DIALOGUE BEGINS: 

We will all die. If I knew the exact time of death would I focus on when I was to die or living until the dying? I know I will die one day.  What do I do with the staying? I choose to stay fully present, fully alive until God calls me back to be fully present with Him.  

Time is a man-made thought. God created season and cycles - not time, not minutes, not counting the hours until...

MY DIALOGUE WITH JESUS:

Me:  Jesus, let’s go into all those years of your life that are not written about in the Bible.  How did you live? How did you reveal your Father’s presence?

Jesus:  I was alive.  I lived.  I am who I am in the midst of the chaos of time.

Me: But I thought that you didn’t invent time.

Jesus: Time is significant not by man’s standards but by God’s.   God’s time reveals moments of love and emotions.  An indescribable longing to be; just be, not elsewhere, not different, just be.  Explanation in human terms is tough that is why I came to walk a walk that might challenge and might reveal how to be fully alive.  Walk as if the dying doesn’t matter.  You are going to die, you will be embarrassed, and you will get hurt and care and love and cry and feel joy.  All of it will happen.  So live like nothing matters but the living and the dying and everything in between.

Me: But that covers everything.  How is anything significant or meaningful?

Jesus: It’s all significant.  It’s all meaningful, every moment.  Don’t you get it?  I cannot NOT be present.  I am in every nanosecond just as much as I am in eternity.  Because I am present, look for me.  Watch for me.  Expect a blessing.  Be a blessing.

Me: But it’s tiring to be always mindful.

Jesus: My yoke is easy and my burden is light.  I fit into your movements.  I am the yoke of your life.  I fit in and through.  Awareness is the key. Open presence like opening presents can be chaotic, revealing, disappointing, exciting… It is what it is.  Accept it.

Me: Accept the privilege?  Accept the burden?

Jesus: Accept my love. Me.  All of who I am revealed daily in your moments.  There is no hiding.  No need to hide.

Me: That must be tough – to know all.  You must get overwhelmed with everyone’s emotional processing.

Jesus: It’s like a river, flowing and cleansing.  A river is the same and yet different.  I know all about each slice of the river.  I know about every animal that lurks in the darkness underneath the rocks.  I know every fish that playfully swims in the sunbeam.  I know the bugs and the temperature.  I even know the microorganisms that can’t be seen with the naked eye.  I know.

Me: So you know me that way?

Jesus: Not just you – everyone.

Me: And is that what I’m to do?

Jesus: It’s knowing - not trying to fix.  Just revealing, loving, sometimes stirring up the water, and overturning rocks, reminding yourself and others you don’t have to hide.  It’s already known.  God knows.  Challenge yourself and others to grow, to stop, to turn to change and get stronger.

Me: So what is my purpose?  How do I fully live until I die?

Jesus: Be present.  Be aware.  Grasp the whole, all at once but then enjoy each part of the whole.  See the entire plate of spaghetti and then enjoy each strand.  See the whole ocean and then enjoy exploring a section of the beach or play in the waves in one area.  You cannot be everywhere or all things to all people.  I placed you in the one place where I needed you.  I placed you in the area of the river that I needed you to swim in.  Be present there.  Make a difference there.  Write.  Read. Run. Relish. Ratify my presence by your reflecting me.  Resonate with my love.  Reiterate my words over and over and over again.  “God is love and all who abide in love abide in God and God in them.”  Abide in my love.

Me: Thank you.

Jesus: My pleasure! 

CONCLUSION:  Since I know I will die, my focus is not on my leaving but what I will do with the staying.  I choose to stay fully engaged, even when it’s inconvenient, all the days of my life.  I will abide in God’s love here where God placed me. I will keep an eternal perspective as I walk through temporal moments. I will abide in God’s love. 

--------------

This Blog was written because of a question that came to me after I awoke from a dream where I encountered Death as a white faced individual. For my dream interpretations I often will dialogue with a significant wisdom figure in my life or a wisdom figure who was present in the dream.   The following words come from my journal entry as I processed the question which rose from my dream:

Who do I dialogue with, what wisdom figure is significant in my life?  Who reflects fully living until dying? A child?  A child just lives unaware of the end.  There is no end in a child’s mind.  Things are what they are – they fully play until Mom or Dad says time to go, then they cry because in their mind there is no end.  We learn by experience and being taught to think beginning and ends. Time is man-made.  God created seasons and cycles- not time, not minute, not hours.   So who signifies the fullness of living until you die? Jesus? The Emmanuel – God with us? Yes.  Jesus revealed how to be fully present.                                                                           By Sara Fontana, 2004