A NEW STYLE OF PRAYER...
WHAT I WANT.....
I woke up at 4am with my friend who is battling leukemia on
my mind. Yes, another friend who has
cancer. This horrible disease which ravages peoples bodies. Some battle it and continue living here on
earth while some battle it and it leads them into the next stage of eternal
life.
I just lay in bed with my eyes closed, present to the
thoughts racing through my brain. How
do I pray? Do I ask for what I want? … I
want her to be 100% healed of the cancer right now and keep on living here on
earth! Then my mind moves to the pious
thought "not my will but yours be done, Lord.” But don’t I want what God
wants? Does God want Donna to suffer and
die? Why do we even have suffering on
earth? My mind races and races through all these
questions.
Then an image of our dog, Mac, comes to mind. Mac is a medium sized terrier who enthusiastically
wakes up every morning. He literally
jumps up and down excited about the possibilities of going for a walk or someone petting him. Then I have an
image of our cat, Fiona. She greets the
day with calm expectation and acceptance of whatever comes her way. So is that the way I should pray, with the
enthusiasm of Mac and the calm expectation and acceptance of Fiona?
Okay, here goes...
A MAC/FIONA STYLE OF PRAYER.....
I pray for healing for Donna. I know what I want. I enthusiastically
petition and thank God for the healing that is taking place. I have calm
expectation and acceptance that God knows the big plan and is working miracles
in the midst of pain and suffering.
I want no
pain and suffering in the world.
I want
people to not get sick.
I want
people to care for themselves in mind, body and spirit and care for others as
themselves.
I want
everyone to recognize God in their lives and the tools God has in place to
strengthen and assist them in being the best version of themselves.
I want people to feel God’s love and live out
that love in their lives.
I want parents to accept and love their
children. I want parents to be
intentional about raising each of their children to be the best version of
themselves in mind, body and spirit.
I want people to communicate honestly, mindful
of being loving in that honesty.
I want people to feel so empowered and loved
within their own skin and in their own mind that they do not have to kill
others or hurt others with words or actions in order to feel empowered themselves.
I want people to love God with their whole
heart, whole mind, whole soul and with all their strength and to love their
neighbor as they love themselves.
I want them
to love themselves so much that love spills out in kind, caring actions to
themselves and others.
I believe if we saw ourselves in this way
there would be an end to pornography, an end to abortion, an end to sexual
abuse, drug abuse and abuse of any kind.
We would live authentically, not changing who we are but embracing who
we are called to be. We would live out our
ultimate purpose for being which is to know, love and serve God. We would enthusiastically thank God for
loving us into creation and calmly expect and accept great things in our
lives.
Just as I do
not need my children to love me for me to love them, God does not need my love
for God to love me. God created me. I was birthed into this life because of God’s
love. Just as there is nothing that my
children could do to make me stop loving them, so also there is nothing that I
can do that will make God stop loving me.
As a parent of
adult children I now connect to God from a different perspective. I recognize how much I appreciate and enjoy
it when my children say they love me, give me hugs, spend time with me, take
time to have conversations with me, go out of their way to assist me or give me
thoughtful gifts. It is heartwarming for
me to see them living out and embracing much of what my husband and I
intentionally taught them when we were raising them. The way they have chosen to live their adult lives
is the absolute greatest gift and way of showing us how much they appreciate
and love us. I believe that what I just
wrote is a metaphor for why it is important for us to praise God, speak words
of love to God, spend time with God and be of service to all of God’s creation. Being the best version of ourselves is the
absolute greatest gift and way of showing God how much we love God.
So, now that I’ve
taken the time to write down all the things that I want others to do I
recognize I
Thank you,
God, for one more day! I greet this day with the enthusiasm of Mac and the calm
expectation and acceptance of Fiona.
God, I love
you! Please heal Donna.
June 28, 2016
Beautiful Mom. God surely desires an end to suffering as he originally designed creation that way. However, in his mercy, while we wait for Jesus comes again to establish His kingdom on earth, I am continually amazed by how he allows physical suffering to bring healing to our familial, communal relationships and emotions. It is an incredible, humbling, and in my case, very needed reminder much of the time of my urgent need to rely on God in everything and the people he put in my life, no matter the vulnerability or pain it requires of me. A reminder that I cannot earn heaven with goodness, or even not sinning, and am therefore in an ever present need of His mercy grace and salvation. He "turns out mourning into dancing" so to speak. I see this played out in Granny's suffering and the healing that it brought to her and Papa's relationship and that of the whole family. Also in how the community responded after hurricane Ike.
ReplyDeleteI love your prayer, and I would add to it "God give us grace in this present suffering to participate in the good You are working through it, and for the gift of Your vision to understand Your work should it be Your will. If it is not Your will for me to understand, grant me the humility even then to trust Your words that "all things work together unto the good of those who love" You. Help me to Love you more."
Peter, Thank you so much for your insightful and thoughtful comment. Your statement of how physical suffering can often lead to healing of familial, communal relationships and emotions really resonated with me! I believe that is what The Beatitudes is all about. You are wise beyond your years! I love you! Your Sister in Christ, Mom
ReplyDeleteSara,
ReplyDeleteGrace and peace. I just finished reading through your blog "What I want..." What sorrow again to have such a dear friend struggling with cancer. Prayers for you that you have the courage to hang in there with Donna.
What a grace it would be to approach our life with God with the enthusiasm of Mack and the detachment of Fiona. It is a very healthy exercise to write down the world of grace that you would like to see and then recognize that you are the instrument to make that world happen, not all the other people with whom you have no control. A big "Amen" to that, sister! Robert Fontana