ALL YOUR TEARS

 The funeral ripped my emotional interior apart.

I felt shredded into pieces of different color cloth all representing mixtures of anger, grief, fear of my own death, deep sadness, extreme loss, emptiness and other unnamed feelings. 

I wept and raged at God for taking this friend. 

 I was observed by others. 

Later a young woman asked, "Do you believe you should cry out all your tears and all your grief at one time and get it over with?"

I said, "No."

You cry uncontrollably in the beginning.

Then you cry at anniversaries and birthdays, holidays and special events.

Then you cry when you hear a certain song, smell a certain smell, hear a word that reminds you this person you loved can no longer be seen with human eyes.

You cry without apologizing. 

You cry for what will never be again in this lifetime. 

And

   In the midst of 

        All your tears,

              You keep on living. 

Sara Fontana, 2005

         

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